Wednesday, February 5, 2014

TROFEO 2.0 When Santa Came Home [Category: Middle Entry No.: 3]

On a cold foggy Christmas eve I was sitting beside the fire warming myself and softly humming some Christmas carols when suddenly I was shocked to see something red hanging from my chimney. I froze. Could it be a burglar or a ghost??? But to my utter amazement none other than Santa himself stepped inside my house carrying a heavy bag loaded with all kinds of gifts and parcels.

 When Santa saw me he was taken aback because he had expected me to be in bed. He was quite angry for being discovered. As usual he asked me what I wanted. He expected me to demand for a no. of things like toys, gadgets, stationery etc. but I didn’t want any.

 I told him that I wanted something different, something that maybe nobody else had wanted. He was very surprised when I told him to follow me. He invited me on his sleigh and I guided Rudolf. I took Santa to a place he had never seen before. Little children starving for food, wearing torn clothes and sitting either on the roadside or in the cold tents. They didn’t even have a blanket to keep themselves warm nor did they have any warm clothes on. Santa was shocked to see all this.

 Soon I called all the children and Santa gave each of them a warm cardigan. The children became very happy and hugged Santa. Santa had tears in his eyes. Never in his life had he experienced such joy in giving.

 We played with the children for a long time. He even distributed Santa caps to all the children. The children jumped with joy on seeing such warm and cozy caps. They all wore it at once. I lit a very big bonfire and all of us including Santa danced around it. We all sang Christmas carols together. It was almost 1:00 by then and Christmas eve was over. I felt bad for Santa because he still had got to go to thousands of ever-demanding children’s houses but Santa didn’t take the slightest notice and kept on singing and dancing.

 He even took out an extremely large mince pie and cut it into several pieces. He made sure that every child had their full. Soon the party had to be stopped as it was getting too late. Everybody parted with teary eyes.
 Santa came to me and thanked me for showing him one of the biggest truths of life. As he lived in the North Pole he couldn’t even dream of such a situation and here he was seeing it in reality. He sadly bid goodbye to me and went on his way sitting on the red-nosed reindeer.

 That night when I lay in bed I felt a sudden warmth in my heart as I remembered the warm smile on the face of those small children. Even today when I sit beside the fire warming myself I feel as if something red is hanging from my chimney…..      

Renee : Who knew that Santa was so clueless about needy children!  This story showed the true meaning of Christmas, especially when the main character asks nothing for himself, only for the needy children.  You effectively showed the conditions in which they live, and then the transformation to a few moments of happiness as Santa gives them food, clothing, and warmth.  Your ending is especially poignant as it reminds the reader that the spirit of Christmas should live all year long.  I see much potential for this story to become a picture book someday.

Sandhya : A very heart-warming story that wonderfully captures the spirit of giving at Christmas. Hold on to this story, and work on it sometime - add anecdotes, dialogue and specific characters, maybe from among the poor children, to make it an even better story.
Very well written. Keep reading and written.

Neha : Lovely story indeed. Good plot, interesting beginning and well thought out story-line. The plot is well constructed and the premise is unusual. A good climax and a well polished conclusion that leaves a warm glow. Good use of simple words and short sentences to build up the story.
A Good attempt.