TROFEO 2.0 When Santa Came Home [Category : Middle Entry No. : 1]

He came in the dead of the night

When the blue of the sky was deep

He sailed so silently over our world

When every person was asleep

He floated through the starry sky

Past the gleaming moon

He must hurry, for he was running late

The sun would be rising soon

Ours was the last town he visited

And mine was the very last house

So he began climbing down the chimney,

Quickly, but as quietly as a mouse

After visiting so many children

And eating their cookies and cakes,

Santa was rather full, and hadn't realized

How much effort chimney climbing takes

He sucked in his belly as much as he could

And began to wriggle down

But he was stuck, well and truly jammed

Yes, that is what Santa found

But here is what Santa did not know –

Our house was enchanted

Our house was home to a number of elves

A number that cannot be counted

They found poor Santa in a soup

They told him he needn't worry

They set about their elfish work

And soon they ceased to scurry

They had dug the sides of the chimney

Till Santa Claus could go through

But where they went after that

Santa wished he knew

He climbed down; it was easy now

He soon reached the ground

He tip-toed towards my stocking

Without making a sound

He stuffed in the presents

Oh, and what presents they were

Then, he was finally done with his job

He exited through the front door

Those elves loved snow more than any else

But they could find none here

And our guests were just temporary,

For they stayed out of fear

Of the wicked, oh, so wicked

Froozotapplegadeese

Who would search for and feast on

Just such elves as these

Santa, of course, was grateful to them

He owed them a major debt

He knew that quick workers like these

Were difficult to get

So he sought out the elves and said to them,

"Come with me to the North Pole

You'll find plenty of snow there

For it is freezing, and that is mighty cold"

You will be safe and sound from the

Froozotapplegadeese

For, if he comes to look for you,

I can tell you for sure that he will freeze

I would like you to do me

Another tremendous favour

And in exchange for I will give you

Snow cream of any flavour

Could you help me with the presents –

Could you make them and then wrap them?

For I know that elfish craft

Is certainly a gem

The elves were delighted – this deal was great!

They all jumped into the sleigh

Santa was pleased, and he smiled and said,

"Up, up, and away!"

That is how Santa got his trusty elves

They make each and every toy

For Santa to give as gifts for Christmas

To every little girl and boy

I wonder what became of the

Froozotapplegadeese

Did he go looking for the elves?

Tell me, did he freeze?

JUDGE’S VIEWS:

Renee : This was a wonderful story that explains how the elves came to live with Santa at the North Pole.  The use of poetry is very effective and you maintained the rhythm and rhyme throughout, which is not always easy to do.  I liked how you called the evil elf by a fun name – it adds to the appeal of this Christmas poem.  On one line, you said they ceased to scurry – perhaps you meant that they started to scurry?  This would have made more sense.  Other than that, this is a fun way to explain how the elves came to live with Santa and why they are so grateful that they constantly work to help him with his presents. 

Neha : It’s a good poem, well organized.The coining of a new word ‘Froozotapplegadeese’ is commendable and so is the creativity behind the whole scenario. The story in the poem is well thought out. The personal twist about the elves legend is a stroke of genius. Shows that the writer has skill, imagination and creativity. The skill though should have been used to make the poem crisper.

I liked the ending with a question. Leaves the reader thinking

For a middle level student, the arrangement of words and correct grammar is achieved commendably

Sandhya : Delightful! Loved the story within the story about how the elves came to be at the ‘freezing’ North Pole! And the rotund Santa trying to get in through the chimney after a bellyful of cookies and cake and getting stuck a-la Winnie the Pooh – that’s certainly a cautionary tale. Also the ‘Froozotapplegadeese’ is a nice touch, very imaginative. Maybe this could be made into a longer story sometime?

Well written, with a good sense of verse. Keep reading and writing.