WHEN SANTA CAME HOME
Renee : This story is a fun reversal of the Santa coming at midnight story. Instead, you show what Santa does before midnight. It has a good opening and conclusion that pulls the story together nicely. However, I would like to see more sensory imagery to describe the sights, sounds, textures, flavors, and aromas of your Christmas setting. You have a few grammatical errors, as well, but overall, this is an interesting story.
Sandhya : Lovely, the way Santa appears in the midst of the party when lights are off!
Very well narrated. You need to break the narrative into smaller paragraphs, though. Maybe add a line or two of dialogue? That would have really perked up the story more.
Keep writing regularly, and read a lot too!
Neha : A fairly written write up. It is a good try at plot construction and story line. Well written and good use of language. There is even a revelation at the end but it is very predictable
No notable errors except the omission of I in sentence seven. Also ‘would’ should have been used instead of will in the same sentence.
It is a fair attempt.