AUTHOR : ELAINE C. PEREIRA
PUBLICATION : i UNIVERSE STAR
ISBN : 978-1-938908-58-3
" The dead are not buried in the ground but in our hearts.
They will be there for you when you need them."
This book is much more than a memoir. Written by Elaine in memory of her mother Elizabeth Ward. It gives you an insight into the world of dementia, the pain and confusion not only of it's victim but also of the loved one's who have to see a beloved being ravaged by this disease.
The book takes you back and forth in time, makes you feel happy when the author takes you down her childhood lane through her tantrums, teenage rebellion, her love and affection for her family. Makes you feel sad, when she takes you back to the harsh reality of life, by taking you back to the facility where her parents and later where her mother is staying.
The story very often brings tears to your eyes. Elaine has described her mother's story with such poignancy that you feel her as well as Betty's pain and makes you think about the dementia victims across the world.
Such simple things in life which we take for granted and dementia victims struggle with them. The author makes you see life through her mother's eyes, sometimes very foggy and other times lucid.
You see the once smart and strong Betty Ward, confused to see her name on her own credit card while paying her bill, as she is simply unable to connect her own name with herself.
Elaine has also shown Betty's amazing strength time and again in the book. On one of her clearer days Betty displays her strong character again and behaves like her old self and says "I hope that if this is genetic, your brothers David or Jerry inherited this gene and not you."
The courageous lady who braved not only her husband's death also of her two sons, does not fail to admit that she is not able to remember things most of the time and finds life hazy. Such open vulnerability is simply heart rending. It is so touching to see Elaine look for signs from her dead brother, for his guidance.
Elaine does not stick to the arduous side of dementia but has also well chronicled the hilarious side of the effects of the disease. She is also openly appreciative of the support of her husband, daughters, the doctors and the staff of the facilities and the people who helped her cope up during this journey.
While reading the book many times I had to keep the book down because I found it overwhelming and very often left me choked up because of emotions it evoked.
Imagine the plight of the daughter whose biggest fear is that her mother is not going to remember her the next moment! Hats off to that mother who not only courageously fought the disease but also did not let her daughter down and left Elaine's fear unfounded!!!
Extremely touching book that tugs straight at your heart strings!!!
